User:Usi Bastet/Tadpoles

If I Had a Million Tadpoles

(to the song "If I had a million dollars" by the Barenaked Ladies)

(original here and karaoke version here)

If I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you a house (I’d buy you a house)

And if I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

I’d buy you a flax gin for your house (maybe a nice reactory or an master's forge)

And if I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you a monkey (a nice reliable Organ Grinder)

And if I had a million Tadpoles, I’d buy your vooooote

If I had a million Tadpoles I’d build a warehouse in our yard

If I had a million Tadpoles you could help, it wouldn’t be that hard

If I had a million Tadpoles maybe we could put a little tiny clover in there somewhere.

“You know, we could just go up there and hang out.”

“Like open the warehouse and stuff, and there’d all be grilled foods laid out for us like little pre-wrapped mutton and things."

"They have pre-wrapped mutton but they don’t have pre-wrapped oyster meat?"

“Well can you blame them?”

“Yeah.”

If I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you a pearl necklace (but not with real pearls, that’s cruel)

And if I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you an exotic pet (yep, like an otter or an ibis)

And if I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you the Pharaoh's remains (all them crazy Teppy bones)

And if I had a million Tadpoles I’d buy your voooote

If I had a million Tadpoles we wouldn’t have to walk to Heaven's Gate

If I had a million Tadpoles we’d take an airship ’cause it costs more

If I had a million Tadpoles we wouldn’t have to eat honey meals

“But we would eat honey meals.”

“Of course we would, we’d just eat more.”

“And get really high potency with it.”

“That’s right, all them really crappy stats.”

If I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you a Vigil Fire (but not a real Vigil Fire, that’s cruel)

And if I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you a 9k tool (a Yarnheim or an Eldrad)

And if I had a million Tadpoles (If I had a million Tadpoles)

Well I’d buy you a Pony (haven’t you always wanted an Pony?!)

And if I had a million Tadpoles I’d buy your voooote

If I had a million Tadpoles; if I had a million Tadpoles

If I had a million Tadpoles; if I had a million Tadpoles

If I had a million Tadpoles…

I’d be DP!