The Male Oprah Show

A cross between the Jerry Springer show and Oprah has hit Egypt! Please visit for the latest information. The show will be every Sunday, featuring Cory0210 as Male Oprah!

Upcoming Show

October 4, 2009: Suggest your ideas here.

• A birthday party for BooBoo!
• Male Oprah's Book Club!
• Kemnesh - A special on how hookah abuse can tear families apart and ruin egyptian lives! (Cory Note! This would be hilarious!)
• Broadcast live from an airship! (Who wants to be our lucky donor for the duration of the show?)
• A performance by Lady YaYa!
• On a More Serious note: Offensive Symbols.
• Teppy Bashing: A joke contest.

Past Shows

September 27, 2009: "Yo Mamma the Better Camp!"

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_* Dramatic introduction music. *_*_*_*_*_*_*_* cory0210: Hello and welcome to Male Oprah, supported by your local Funtasy mic station! cory0210: Paid in part by PRET, in association with Elfus! cory0210: Today, we have a killer show for you, with Better Camps and Gardens Awards, a "Yo Mamma!" contest, and a section known as "On a more serious note.". cory0210: To begin with, we would like to thank all participants of better camps and gardens! BlueGrass: Yay cory0210: Your creations were all incredible, and they have certainly pleased Elfus's wife Karmen. Sindelicious: yep cory0210: Now then, we'll have the results of this later in the show! Karmen: Bah, My elfus is lazy, letting others do the work for him! Tzalaa: typical male... cory0210: Ah! Karmen has decided to join us! How about a round of applause for the lovely lady! truanna: figures, they're gonna m ake us sit through the yo mamma jokes to find out who won BC&G Elfus: *Goes Into hiding behind cory* Crone: *clap clap* Karmen: Hmmm *Bats Eyelashes at Crone* cory0210: Before that gets too far *shoves Karmen away from Crone*, Elfus, our producer, has arranged a Yo Mamma Contest! MariahBoPeep: *whistle* cory0210: Elfus, tel us the contestents, and what theywill win! Elfus: Yerbouti and Sefet are our contestants Elfus: They wint he fabulous prize of 1 grass! And a place in the show's hall of fame! cory0210: Thats fabulous! Karmen: And I'm gonna throw in a Huge Quartz, For my own amusement Elfus: Karmen! We need that Quartz! Elfus: We only have 30 at the GH! cory0210: Well then, its too late now Elfus! cory0210: Okay, Yerbouti, Sefet, are you ready? cory0210: I hear sefet is in an airship, so he may have a bit of interference! Yerbouti: But of course! Elfus: Contestants! The Rules! cory? Sefet: All set to go! cory0210: The rules of the contest are simple: Sefet: Like Yerbouti's mom. cory0210: Throw your best yo mamma jokes at the other contestant, based on their joke. Lets go! MariahBoPeep: lmao Yerbouti: Now Sefet, don't complain about the bumpy airship, it rides better than yo momma. cory0210: Oh Burn! MariahBoPeep: oooooooo snap Sefet: Yeah, Yo momma's so fat we call flying machines 'airships', cause she's got a copyright on "blimp" and she's so fat her butt needs its own breezeway. cory0210: What a dis! BooBoo: lmao Yerbouti: Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a yellow jacket people mistake her for a taxi. Sefet: Yo momma's so fat, the only recipe she knows is "chicken meat" "oil" and "salt" and she's so nasty all the crabs in Egypt are in her pants! Yerbouti: Yo mama is so ugly, when she picks her nose, the boogers look kinda cute. cory0210: Those are some fat and ugly mammas! Sefet: Yo momma's so ugly, yo daddy attracted her by leaving straw in a pen and she's so fat she needs a cornerstone! BooBoo: omg that is fat Elfus: Ouch! Poor Mom's! cory0210: You gonna take that yerbouti? Yerbouti: Yo monkey is so ugly, we thought it was yo momma. cory0210: Oh, thats a thrid degree burn! Sefet: Yo momma's so ugly her last job was modeling for the beetle garden Yerbouti: Yo momma's so fat, after she got off the chariot, the horse limped for a week. RosieRazor: lol Sefet: Your momma's so fat her only acro move is "Wobble"! Karmen: 4th degree burn on Yerbout! Yerbouti: Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Sefet: Yo momma's so dumb she thinks "distaff" is what "dat infection she got" is and she's so fat people hide cicada cages in her rolls! cory0210: I'd hate to find that cage! RosieRazor: omg Sefet hahaha Crone: lots of points for that cicada Elfus: Yerbouti! Show us your worth! cory0210: Okay contestants, its time for our lightening round! Karmen: Stupid Sefet! Now i have to go comfort Yerbouti's mom Yerbouti: Yo momma is like the Saqqara Zoo stinky and free on wednesdays. Sefet: Yo momma's so nasty you can breed beetles in her pits and she's so fat, you had to learn Structure Reinforcement before she could start sleeping inside! cory0210: Slap each other with as many you mamma jokes as you can in the next two minutes to wrap up or contest in this lightening round! cory0210: 3 cory0210: 2 cory0210: 1 cory0210: Goooooo! Yerbouti: Yo momma so fat she has her own School of Arch. Sefet: Yo momma's so nasty you can breed beetles in her pits Elfus: *Shows the crowd a sign with "laugh" on it* Yerbouti: Yo momma so hairy when you were born you had rugburn the rest of your life Sefet: Yo momma's so greasy, you could put a deep well in her hair and she's so fat, you could use her her sweat to light ritual torches Yerbouti: Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles! Sefet: Yo momma's teeth so crooked, she chews sideways Yerbouti: Yo mama is so stupid, she asked if her ass made her ass look fat. Sefet: Yo momma's so dumb so thinks "resin" is dried up grapes. cory0210: Only 30 seconds left! Sefet: Yo momma's so fat when she bathes in Adn, it floods in Saqqarah! Yerbouti: Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Peret and it's still printing ... Sefet: Heck, yo momma's so fat the last time she got in the ocean, Atlantis sank! EvilSnowman: Ha! Yerbouti: Yo momma like a birthday cake: Everybody gets a piece. cory0210: Okay contestants, thats it@ Sefet: *bows to Yerbouti* BooBoo: gives applause to the contestants Yerbouti: wipes sweat from brow "Whew" RosieRazor: lol nice job to both of you :) Elfus: *Gives applause to BooBoo* cory0210: Elfus and I have watched this contest and come up with our winners, but we want egypt to decide as well! Who do you think won? cory0210: Okay, now then, on to the final portion of our show (yes, we do practice portion control here!): The Better Camps and Gardnes Awards! cory0210: Or, as I like to call them, the Campies! truanna: thwaps CoPrah upside da head. BCAG results! BCAG results! Spit em out already! cory0210: Our Judging process went by color, design, and overall impression. Elfus: First off, I'd like to thank our judges, Ariella, Seba, cory cory0210: Togehter, Elfus, Seba, Aryballa, and I have roamed egypt... cory0210: Now, I turn the show over to Elfus for the results! Elfus! Elfus: Hello everyone! Elfus: Oh wait, Toilet Pause, 5 minutes Orrin: Ehm... Studio correction. Cory got fired for libel. Katma: hi Elfus: Just joking, egypt! ombori: hi cory0210: Please, do get on with it Elfus! Elfus: Before i'd like to start, remember: Don't vote Orrin for DP! Tzalaa: whyever not? Orrin: *elfus got fired too* cory0210: Please folks, ignore Orrin the evil. BooBoo: and at cory also cory0210: Now then, lets get to the results! Elfus: Okay, I'm gonna start with the top 7! Orrin: Orrin is evil cos he's a stuck floating blimp on a speed of 56kb/s due to the retarded phone company cory0210: Okay folks, I'm silencing orrin. cory0210: Please continue Elfus, I'm sure everyone is dying to know. Rania: be nice to Orrin he cant help it Elfus: On the seventh Place, we have Halana, with Stillwaters of Halicarnassus cory0210: A round of applause for Halana! Crone: *clap clap* BooBoo: clap clap Crone: looks at Katma Elfus: Oh wait, Halan is sixth, and Tzalaa is seventh Rania: woot Halana :) IaruHetep: *claps in a circular motion* Tzalaa: woohoo cory0210: Now then, in 6th place we have.... BooBoo: clap clap truanna: *clapclaps for both tzalaa and halana* Elfus: On a fifth Place, We have Lill, With the Egyptian Life Guildhall BooBoo: clap clap yay lill and el cory0210: Quite a spectacular feat of design, but lacking a bit in size. Orrin: yes truanna, please stick to hand claps. Bingo wings are not nice. Elfus: On a 4th place, we have Sesnut & Injeru, With the Valley of Hathor's bowl truanna: shaddup orrin, or I'll bonk you with your rod again BooBoo: clap clap cory0210: In third place is... Rania: clap clap Elfus: Shemei! Elfus: With Dag and Shem's Retreat BooBoo: clap clap Sefet: *clap clap* Then we have Dustitwister! truanna: that's it, pummel him with rotten tomatoes! cory0210: And the winner is.... Elfus: Hanid and Rania with Utopia! Shemei: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! BlueGrass: Wooot!!!! Tzalaa: hands Truanna a basket of tomatoes and eggs truanna: yay! gratz hanid and rania! Sashagirl: Yells Congradulations to all winners Crone: Grats people *clap clap clap* BooBoo: woooooott Congrats clap clap DustiTwister: Congrats To All Winners =D Sefet: *clap clap clap clap*!!! cory0210: Congradulations Hanid adn Rania, your design was impecable! cory0210: Congradulations to all of you! Tzalaa: I hope you're gonna tell us the other places too? Elfus: They had a fabulous score of 9, 81! Elfus: Dusti got 9,18 fyi cory0210: Absolutely incredible! truanna: now everyone pummel Elfus with rotten veggies! And orrin too! Crone: Yo momma is so fat she didnt fit in that pyramid Rania: thank you all and to BlueGrass for his awsome pyrmid :) Chelsis: Now where do i find out top 14 and 21? I would like to see where i placed. ty. :) cory0210: Full results (in order) are: Elfus: Hanid DustiTwister Shemei Sesnut Lill Halana Tzalaa Aubery nebkhepure Vixsin truanna TeaAira Almelkehdes Klasher Beah MariahBoPeep Chelsis darkfyre Obol BooBoo Asum Pharahmoan Ryssa Sindelicious Duplus Elvodel fahli Casino cory0210: Congradulations to all of you for enterign! Katma: ...mine is so bad it didnt even make worse hovels and dumps list... Elfus: You didn't enter either cory0210: Okay, now that better camps and gardens are over, I would like to thank you all for coming out today! cory0210: Our next male oprah show will be next sunday, and I hope to see you all there for more festivites! Elfus: If you were in the contest, please leave a chat open, so i can manage prizes Orrin: No cory, you're the only person that came out today. The rest of us didnt switch our sexuality. Elfus: prizes will be distributed the coming week Crone: have to admit, this was fun BooBoo: batting your eyelashes cory was a dead giveaway cory0210: Also, as a PRET function, we are open to suggestions, just leave them with elfus or on our wiki page! cory0210: Okay folks! Katma: what r we doing for halloween? Orrin: that's being thought about... cory0210: Male Oprah is a PRET Production, directed by Elfus, in asssociation with the Funtasy Mic Guild. Crone: There's no halloween in Egypt? Orrin: I'm saying no more than that. cory0210: There will be crone. cory0210: Thank you all for being here! cory0210: --- Male Oprah out! (Links to follow) --- cory0210: Better Camps and Gardens Locations: cory0210: http://www.atitd.org/wiki/tale4/Events/Better_Camps_and_Gardens cory0210: Male Oprah show site: cory0210: http://www.atitd.org/wiki/tale4/The_Male_Oprah_Show Elfus: Another Producer Note: Pacer built the garden that was #5 for Lill, a sign of true love! cory0210: And, the big "c" guild announcement: cory0210: Otter and I (BruceCicada) just started a new guild, please read the System Tab. This guild exists as a Fun, Supportive place to go for All Egyptians, and especially those of us who are, have been, or have people close to them who are dealing with the big C (cancer). It also exists to honor and support Otter, who has done soooooooo much for all of us here in Egypt! So those of you that are reading this now, get off your duffs and come show your support for Otter and join already!!! It's for all Egyptians, so this means you! I want Everyone to join, as that is the only guild Otter can belong to.The Guild Hall is on the hill just behind the CS in SA.

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The Big "C"

Otter and I (BryceCicada) just started a new guild, please read the System Tab. This guild exists as a Fun, Supportive place to go for All Egyptians, and especially those of us who are, have been, or have people close to them who are dealing with the big C (cancer). It also exists to honor and support Otter, who has done soooooooo much for all of us here in Egypt! So those of you that are reading this now, get off your duffs and come show your support for Otter and join already!!! It's for all Egyptians, so this means you! I want Everyone to join, as that is the only guild Otter can belong to.The Guild Hall is on the hill just behind the CS in SA.

Badges

All ye' badges that are given out on behalf of Funtasy and Our Male Oprah.

• Birthday Queen: BooBoo
• Stonking Great Gardeners: Hanid and Rania.
• Stonking Great Gardener Runner-Up: Dustitwister.
• Momma Punisher: Sefet
• Most Evil, Cruel and Unusual Female Punisher: MariahBoPeep
• Most Evil, Cruel and Unusual Male Punisher: Teppy

Just Poke

Mum mum mum mah 
Mum mum mum mah 
Mum mum mum mah 
Mum mum mum mah 
Mum mum mum mah 

 I wanna poke em like they do on helpless days
Poke em let em poke me poke it baby stay with me, I love it
Luck and intuition poke the best with pokes to start
And after he's been poked I'll poke the one that's on his heart

oh, oh, oh
I'll poke him lots, show him what i've got
oh, oh, oh
I'll poke him lots, show him what i've got

can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)
can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)

p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)
p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)

I wanna poke with him a hard poke we will be
a little poking is fun when you're with me, I love it
Pokeing roulette is not the same without a hand
and baby when its poke if its not rough it isn't fun, fun

oh, oh, oh
I'll poke him lots, show him what i've got
oh, oh, oh
I'll poke him lots, show him what i've got

can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)
can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)

p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)
p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)

I won't tell you that I'll poke you
touch or bruise you
cause i'm bluffin' with my pokin'
i'm not lying i'm just stunnin' wit my poke-a-poke-poking

just like a chick in a guild
poke your face before I poke you out
i promise this, promise this
check this poke cause I'm fabulous

can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)
can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)

can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)
can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)

can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)
can't poke my, can't poke my
no he can't poke my face
(she's got to poke somebody)

p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)
p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)

p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)
p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)

p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)
p-p-p-poker her face, p-p-poke her face
(mum um mum mah)

Credits

Credits:
Lead Producer: Elfus
In coordination with: The Funtasy Mic Guild
A PRET Production.
And Don't forget... CORY!